I am my own worst enemy..

I find it interesting that I make all of these plans of things to do but I forget till I realize that I don't have time.

On the surface I have accomplished a lot but in the personal realm I feel as though I have gone backwards. I worry too much. I try to change thing that I can't change. My efforts to change these things in turn gain the opposite goal than what I am aiming for. When good things do happen I find myself focusing on the little not so good things that happened. I over analyze everything that I sort into this category so much that I forget about the good.

I am my own worst enemy...

I care way too much about what other people think of what I wear, eat, drink, and do.. I can't express myself because I am afraid that my friends will not accept me the way I am. In doing this I destroy my body and my mind.

My goal is to move past this issue. It seems to me that just by typing it out that it has helped. I haven't figured out how to do this yet.. but i'll keep you posted.

Ocean of Possibilities

So I have been thinking lately... As a child I used to hate change. Change meant that things could go wrong. When things went wrong then I would get yelled at. For a long time I hated change and it lasted all the way through high school. When I got to college my eyes were opened to the world or so it seemed to me. I was a small town girl who had traveled but never left. Even going to a small state university completely changed my life. And I'm glad.

Leaving makes all the difference. In fact I am realizing that now stability unsettles me more now than ever. College taught me, and continues to teach me, that change is needed. Change runs the world. Without it history would be very un eventful and boring. Now to me my college town seems small and inconvenient and I can see myself going to a huge university that can open my mind even wider. However, little things like money and other life challenges are most likely going to stop that or put it on hold. I am tired of being told I can't.. I dipped my toes in the ocean of the world's possibilities and I want to jump in.